Hi guys (mostly Jess). It’s been awhile since I last posted an update, but it has been a trying time in my personal life. Blogging wasn’t cutting it as the fluffy escapism it typically serves as for me, and I just took some time to do absolutely nothing. I mean, I literally have been doing nothing productive outside of work – I’ve been reading a little, but not enough, and I’ve been avoiding going to the YMCA even though I’ve been paying for it since February (I’ve been once).
There have been quite a few things going on, but the most currently pressing is that James & I broke up. We started seeing each other here and there in March of 2013, and three weeks ago we realized, tearfully but amicably, that we had different dreams, different goals, and our lives were ultimately going to move in different directions.
I’ll be honest – it has been really, really shitty. For years now I’ve seen myself as a jaded person when it comes to relationships. I’d been there, done that, and knew I could be logical if James & I did end up leading different lives. In reality, it’s not that easy. I wish there were a “villain” in the situation so that I could have something to be furious about, but there isn’t. We love each other, but we have to move on and do our own things.
I surely don’t have any hot tips about how to get over a break up. I’ve been avoiding sad music and sad movies. That’s already a step forward – in college I would wallow for eons. I’ve been trying to keep busy with my friends and my family, some of which you can see in the pictures I added to the beginning of this post. My sisters and I took Mom to Dollywood for Mother’s Day, and in 10 days my family & Jess (and other friends!) will be heading to Universal Studios for a week. I’m keeping busy with work, snuggling Sansa a lot, and eating more take out than I should.
I feel like I should be over this by now. Realistically, I know I can’t expect to be over around five years of friendship & partnership in three weeks. I’m sick of the heaviness in my chest and I’m sick of thinking everyone on dating apps is too ugly and too incompatible and too dumb and too shallow to compare (lol). Notice: I don’t actually want to date someone right now, but you know how sometimes those apps are good for a little ego boost when you’re down in the dumps? Yeah, that.
That’s what’s going on in my neck of the woods. Here’s hoping I can get back to light & fluffy ASAP.